Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Memo to the Hockey Gods

Listen, Hockey Gods. I'm on to you, okay? I write about how I think Henrik Tallinder is going to have a great season and he struggles right out of the gate. I write about how it's kind of tough thinking of things to say about a team that's playing so well and the next day they play a complete clunker. I write about how excited I am about the Sabres perfect penalty kill and the next game they give up a power play goal to friggin' Phil Kessel who is one of those guys that I randomly hate for reasons I can't recall much less relay. Well, guess what Hockey Gods! Two can play this stupid opposite game!

I'm so excited that Derek Roy hasn't scored a goal yet and looks kind of sloppy and all over the place! I wonder how long he can go without a goal! I hope it's a really, really long time!

I'm really enjoying this seemingly new habit of playing half-heartedly for part of the game and spotting the opponent a couple of goals before pulling it together! It's very entertaining! I didn't really like it when we played hard for 60 minutes anyway.

Boy, shootouts are great, aren't they? It'd be awesome if we keep up the pace of half our games finishing that way!

The Boston Bruins are awesome too! I wish we could play them EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!

I love how most of Henrik Tallinder's best plays are made to compensate for the mistake he just made. I mean, who really needs to just make a good play to begin with? That's soooooo boring!

I wish Ryan Miller and Patrick Lalime weren't playing so well! It really takes a lot of the excitement out of the game when you're confident in your goalie. I miss that nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach every time an opposing player takes a shot from the blue line.

It was a lot more fun booing Vanek every night and yelling about how much we were paying him. Vanek as a potential bargain? Bor-ing!

Clearly the Sabres are fine without Jochen Hecht. I hope he doesn't come back any time soon. I certainly don't want him back in time for the next game, un-uh, no way. I don't miss him AT ALL.

Really, I hope Derek Roy never scores again! Never! He definitely should not break out with a hat trick because I HATE stopping play so all the hats can be picked up! No, a hat trick would equal death, I think.

So TAKE THAT, Hockey Gods! What are you gonna do about it?!

11 comments:

Anne said...

I miss that nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach every time an opposing player takes a shot from the blue line.

I also miss the feeling of impending doom when you hear "Here come the _______s on a 2 on 1."

I also hope that Danny Paille never scores, EVER. I prefer him this way.

Cari said...

Really, I hope Derek Roy never scores again! Never! He definitely should not break out with a hat trick because I HATE stopping play so all the hats can be picked up! No, a hat trick would equal death, I think.

AHAHAHAHAHA.

Jaime said...

I love your sarcasm.

Pookie said...

I've tried this before. I never works. Those hockey gods are pretty wily. Sigh. We should have picked a favorite sport with easier-to-trick sports gods. :D

(Also, :^::::::::::: to the entire post!)

Jill said...

I still feel nauseous anyway... LOL... I can't help it!

The heart attack kids!

Mark B said...

Oooh. The Hockey Gods don't like being talked to with sarcasm.

We're screwed.

amy said...

I miss that nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach every time an opposing player takes a shot from the blue line.

Heck, that nauseous feeling came on any time an opposing player took a shot anywhere in their offensive zone.

bowlofpork said...

I blame you all (particularly Heather and her God-fooling ways) for causing Rivet's knee surgery.

Bad ju-ju, people. Bad ju-ju.

Lee said...

I'm going to have to agree with those that say this doesn't work. I tried the same thing with the baseball gods when I realized they were doing the opposite of everything I wished. So I wished the bullpen would be horrible the rest of the season. 1,568,236 earned runs later the Mets missed the playoffs.

bowlofpork said...

Lee, that might be because the baseball gods hate the Mets.

**looks longingly at his Reyes jersey**

So sad.

**single tear**

s! said...

funny you said that about Phil Kessel.. i'm here in Boston and get nauseous listening to the idjits here harping on about him and Chara and Bergeron.. blech!

go Sabres.. love your blog Heather!!