Monday, March 31, 2008

I'm Making This Up as I Go

So I've been trying to avoid certain spots on the internet because I know things are going to get ugly right about now. People are certainly allowed to have their opinions but those opinions often don't mesh with mine and I'm not really in the mood to be brought down even more by weeping and gnashing of teeth. I mean, geez, the team has been depressing enough as it is.

But I did wander over to Sabres Edge today and when I saw it was about Derek Roy I started to read. Something about the headline made me think it was Mike Harrington who is, as we've discussed before, pretty safe. I should have known better because the Indians opened today so Harrington has been hanging at Inside Pitch but by the time my brain started sending Bucky Gleason related "RED ALERT! CEASE AND DESIST" messages it was too late.

I'm not going to go into details about what I did and didn't like about the post - parts of it were not bad by Bucky standards and he did kind of admit that maybe he was wrong about Derek Roy peaking at 23, parts of it were his typical Drury/Briere ramblings still served with huge dollops of hindsight - but one of the responses left in the comment section, written by Don F, cracked me up:

Bucky, weren't you the guy who, just before the Bills vs Giants Super Bowl, suggested that Scott Norwood should aim a little more to the left than usual on any late-in-the-game attempts over 45 yards?

Anyway, I don't really have much of interest to say - like the Sabres I'm simply playing out the string and hoping that some other team saves me - so I thought I'd respond to some comments. It still probably won't be interesting but it'll fill space and kill time.

twoeightnine (check out his cool shirts), had this to say:

Here's something for you to do, I'm too busy/lazy to do it. Since we're such a cheap organization, figure out how much more money the Rangers and Flyers (two of the biggest markets) spent than us this off season to barely make the playoffs (or not make it.)

289, I've done some research and by my estimation the Flyers spent 15 billion dollars while the Rangers, not to be outdone, spent 16.3 billion. (On centers. They spent $48.23 on defense and kind of forgot about their goalie.) The Sabres on the other hand spent $7.18 but billed Marty Biron for the rolls of tape he stole when he left town, therefore actually making a profit of $32.74. You might want to double-check those numbers though.

Whatever the Rangers spent, it was ALL WORTH IT for the GAME WINNING GOAL Chris Drury scored last night. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GAME WINNING GOAL? In case you didn't, let me tell you about it: Last night the Rangers played and CHRIS DRURY SCORED THE GAME WINNING GOAL. IN OVERTIME. (In case, you're wondering, we paid approximately 37 cents for our game winning overtime goal on Sunday so I think we might have gotten a better bargain. Too close to call.)

(Also, my husband really wants one of the Kaleta missile shirts but I've been holding off on ordering it until you have a Hank shirt available for me. That's in the works, right? Surely the masses are demanding it.)

Matt (bowlofpork) chimed in with this:

Wait a second... Kate still doesn't have a jersey?!? I'm shocked and appalled.

Aren't we all? Seriously, Kate, buy a friggin' jersey already. I know that in this, your first full season as a hockey fan, the Sabres have treated you like an abusive boyfriend ("They don't mean it! They're better than this! You don't know them the way I do! They can be so sweet and good at hockey!") but if you've survived this season, I have a good feeling about you. Take a deep breath, pick a player, and go for it. I'll even pretend that I don't mind that you're buying a slug.

Amanda threw this out there:

How about taking a quick look at the draft rankings to see who you like? Should the Sabres trade their two 1st round picks to get into the top 5? Buffalo Sabre Steven Stamkos has a nice ring to it...

Amanda, that is a great idea and something a good blogger would probably tackle. Unfortunately I know nothing about anyone who's in the draft and would more or less be parroting other people's opinions. If I'm going to ramble on endlessly, I want to know what I'm talking about. At least a little bit. I keep referring to "Steve Stamkos" as "John Stamkos" and honestly, I'm not sure if I'm mixing him up with John Taveras, next year's sure thing draftee, or John Stamos, former star of Full House.

However, you guys will be getting top notch coverage of the draft because I will be there LIVE and IN PERSON! That's right, a few friends and I are piling into my car and driving to Ottawa. Why am I going to the draft when I've just revealed that I don't know anything about what's going on there? I dunno. Sounded like fun. Oh, I'm taking a collection to help the Sabres pay for Jason Pominville's extension so if you want to chip in, let me know. I'll write a check and slip it to Darcy while I'm there.

Amy said:

I'm wondering which of the players is going to be on the first plane out of Western New York once the lockers have been cleaned out and final autographs signed.

I would've put my money on Tim Connolly but since he's already out of town (and possibly dead since we haven't gotten the usual "the surgery went fine" update even though it's been a week), I'm going to go with Maxim Afinogenov.

And finally, Sam added this to the discussion:

Weber's picture is classic. He looks like he was surprised by the camera or something. poor guy.

Seriously, you guys, check out these pictures.

Maybe after he gets in a long nap in the off-season, Ryan Miller can give Mike some lessons on how to use what God gave you and take a good roster photo.

Thanks for your contributions, everyone! And while this was a totally half-assed, mostly ridiculous post, I do actually mean that in all seriousness. I've really enjoyed all the conversation going on here for the last couple of weeks.


GregK said...

That's one of the most entertaining "nothing to say" posts I've read in a while. Not to sound like a dork, but you really are a very good writer.

Anyway, in the back to reality department ...

1) Did anybody see the picture of Dru's celebration after the goal. Jaromir Jagr is in the background looking stunned, kinda like he just lost the game. What's up with that guy?

He's probably pissed because the PP scheme they were using had him taking the shot, but some other ass made a mistake and the puck popped out to Drury, who as per usual was in the right place at the right time. So what Jagr was doing, instead of celebrating the goal, was yelling at the guy that didn't pass it to him instead.

2) Assuming Buffalo doesn't get in, I'd really like to see Washington get in, not by catching Philly or Boston, but Ottawa. If Ottawa loses out and the Caps win out, Ottawa is out. That would rock.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get a chance to see the Bucky blog until this morning. It was a really jarring change from his article in the paper this morning.

I'm going to go with Maxim Afinogenov.

Same here. I've already told my father to keep an eye on the security lines while he's at work that day to see who's getting the heck out of Dodge the fastest.

And Kate, get a jersey already! The end of season sales are coming and Sabres Insider usually sends out a coupon for X percentage off purchases at the store. Its a perfect opportunity.

Jennifer said...

twoeightnine: The Kaleta Collision shirt - LOVE IT!!!

Kate said...

I know, I know, I need to buy a jersey. I can't pick a guy.

Anne said...

Mike Weber is a classic vicitim of RPP: "Roster Photo Panic".

I almost threw up when I watched Drury score that goal last night. Yick.

I was thninking about getting some friends together to go to the draft too! If we decide to go, I'll let you know. Together, I think we can bargain the King's 1st pick from them.

S.A.M. said...

haha I made the cut! thanks. Poor Weber, he's actually a decent looking guy.. just not in pictures. I knew a minor league fella like that. He was actually quite cute but I couldn't ever prove it to anyone who hadn't seen him in person because his pictures were atrocious.

great post! I love it when you have "nothing to say".

I want to go to Ottawa for the draft! I hate their hockey team but the city is really cool. My sis and I went last March and skated the Rideau Canal (something everyone should do at least once) Obviously you can't do that in the summer but there are so many interesting things about the city of Ottawa that you could stay for days if you wanted.. and the Draft is sure to be a lot of fun!

Jennifer said...

Weber looks confused in all of his photos, like he's trying to figure out a really complicated problem. Hey, maybe he's trying to understand the playoff possiblity for Buffalo.

Kate: Clear your mind of all things Sabres related, count to 10 and get the jersey of the first player that pops into your mind.

S.A.M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S.A.M. said...

I'm not done yet! *really I should be doing other things but this is a nice distraction.*

gregk, you are right on about Jagr- I can see that scenario right now. What a prick.

oh yeah and upon reading Bucky's post (which started off okay but got stupider as it went) I found this gem: It was also suggested that the Sabres shop Maxim Afinogenov while they could get something for him because he had a history of disappearing in the playoffs. Take away Drury and Briere, and he's back to disappearing in the regular season, too. That's why it was so important to keep them.

Sorry Buck, but Max diappearing really should NOT rest on the fact that Drury and Briere are gone. Everyone said the same thing about Pommers and he leads the team in scoring. Everyone had to step up and many of them did. Afinogenov did not. Bottom line.

twoeightnine said...

True story about Max. My girlfri... girl... friend, ummm I don't know what to call her yet, works at the hotel where the Sabres stay when they scrimmage the Amerks. Lindy was settling the bill with her and she said everything was fine but one room. Without hesitating Lindy yells out "MAAAAXX." Seems he ran up a $65 bill on "in-room movies". Over three hours. In the middle of the afternoon.

Jennifer said...

289: That's too funny! Let us know when Heather's Hank shirt is ready, I want one, too.

Vanek's Hair said...

I had to read it. I don't have a non-Bucky reading policy. I guess for the same reason that I slow down for car wrecks. Seriously, he sprinkles in a bit about Derek Roy, and then cuts and pastes his usual column about the "botched" negotiations with Briere and Drury. Of course, he leaves out the fact that Sabres offered to match the Rangers contract for Drury.

But I need to vent something. I heard it again this morning, and I have been hearing this a lot more lately. The Sabres have collapsed without Brian Campbell, and would be in the playoffs had they kept him. Well, I crunched the actual numbers. With Campbell, the Sabres were 30-24-9 (or 30-33) for a winning percentage of .455. Without Brian Campbell, they are 7-6-3 (or 7-9) for a winning percentage of .438. I guess what I am saying is that the difference is, to be precise, negligible. They were slightly below (or above depending on how one looks at shootouts) .500 with him, and slightly below (or above depending on one looks at shootouts) .500 without him. So I guess, reasonable people may be inclined to ask, just how good was he?

As for Max coming or going, to take the view of (insert non-Sabres GM name here), I would think, why give up value for a guy with an expiring contract after next season? Maybe a trade deadline pickup if Max is having a good season, but I would have no use for him if I was another team. I think his trade value is a bit overated. Particularly if the NHL continues its slow crawl back to pre-lockout neutral zone tedium. And if that's the case: Put me out of my misery.

Tessa said...

Wow, Weber really does not look like the brightest crayon in the box.

He actually sounds reasonably intelligent in his interviews, though. Already a +1 over Soupy, who not only looks like a doofus, but sounds like one too. ;)

Heather B. said...

Geez, you guys were busy early today!

Not to sound like a dork, but you really are a very good writer.

I don't think there's anything dorky at all about that sentiment :-D Thanks, gregk!

I have mixed feelings about Washington getting in which I'll probably write about once the playoff match-ups are set but Ottawa falling all the way would be pretty hilarious.

Kate, I'd love to see you get a Toni (then we can be all adorably matchy matchy) but I really think your heart is with Goose. Or you could just get both :P

Anne, definitely let me know if you end up making the trek to Ottawa! You're right, the Kings would stand no chance against us.

Sam, Bucky's insistence that Max disappeared in the regular season because of the absence of Drury and Briere was one of the things I just didn't get at all. I think, jumping onto what VH said, it has more to do with the league creeping back to more defensive play and loosening of whistles. And also perhaps the three months he spent on IR. (Although I'm sure his groin gave out because it misses Danny.)

289, I love the Max movie story. How much do those things cost? How do you even watch $65 worth of movies in one afternoon? I've always wondered if the players were allowed to order all the room service, movies, and other extras they wanted.

289: That's too funny! Let us know when Heather's Hank shirt is ready, I want one, too.

See?! The masses demand it! :-D

I agree with those who said that Mike Weber is not a bad looking guy. He's not Hank or Goose but I don't see him on TV and recoil or anything. He's just not photogenic. It would help if he smiled. I also think he needs more hair. Speaking of hair...

Vanek's Hair, way to crunch those numbers. Somewhere - I think on Bfloblog - I saw someone do something similar and come to the conclusion that Campbell means one more win to the Sabres this season. Totally worth 6 million dollars in other words!

Seriously, there are so many reasons Campbell is performing better in San Jose and very few reasons to expect he'd be playing that way if he were still in Buffalo and I believe I already rambled about that a couple of posts ago so I'll stop myself here and just say that I am also tired of hearing about how much we need him. I'm super annoyed with Campbell for ruining my WC team because there's no one I can cheer for the Sharks to win now.

Already a +1 over Soupy, who not only looks like a doofus, but sounds like one too. ;)


Jennifer said...

I don't think the team misses anything Campbell contributed. In fact, he really didn't contribute much at all. My husband even commented during Campbell's last several games before the trade about him not doing anything and looking lost on the ice. And my husband only watches enough hockey to pick on me about the Sabres. Oh, and he likes to try to make all the commentary phrases sound 'dirty'.

ElmaGolf said...

"Something about the headline made me think it was Mike Harrington who is, as we've discussed before, pretty safe."

Actually, Harrington's been an increasing fountain of pessimistic "told you so's" lately.

I reached a boiling point with the one-sidedness, so I pasted every topic on the Edge with a reminder of Bucky's "GM for a Day" brilliance as a "protest."

I figured that if TBN can get away with just repeatedly hammering a year-old mistake, I'd do the same to Bucky.

Not sure if it was my "protest" which drew him out, but I was surprised to see he was the author of the Roy Topic.

Of course, he still managed to work in a Drury / Briere screed into his "I was Wrong about Roy" posting.

And of course he conveniently ignored the "Spacek for bag of pucks" plan, and his own 2006 Article displaying his hindsight hypocrisy on Max's re-signing and Briere's $25/5 pre-arbitration offer.

But, being an optimist - I suppose I'll just have to take what little progress we can get from Buckster.

And Yes, Don F's Super Bowl XXV reference was an instant classic!

ElmaGolf said...

Since it's a day for random thoughts..

- Was anyone else upset the Sabres didn't do an "encore lap" for the Fans Sunday night?

Maybe it could be spun as a "concession" that the season was over, but I think it would have been a great chance for the "non-jumpers" to show their appreciation of the team.

- I met many cool Montreal Fans Friday night and shared a few rounds at Brinks with 4 French-Speakers who made the trip. I have determined that "IF" the Sabres don't make the playoffs, I want the Habs to win, for two simple reasons.

First, I'm so sick of hearing from Yankees Fans that that they have won more championships than any other franchise. The Habs are one behind.

Second, no ex-Sabres on the Habs - need I say more?

Vanek's Hair said...

Oh, and he likes to try to make all the commentary phrases sound 'dirty'.

Jennifer - You mean I am not the only one who finds in amusement in such terms as "He tried to jam it in the short side" or "He tied up his man" or my all time favorite "He got caught holding the stick" I realize that it makes me highly juvenile, but oh well.

elma - I have always seen that Bucky Gleason GM for a day as pretty strong evidence of him projecting when he (repeatedly) writes that the Sabres misread the market. Maybe they read the market, after all, they do that stuff for a living. Bucky Gleason misread the market, so obviously so did the Sabres front office.

Jennifer said...

Vanek's Hair: Oh God, you mean there are more of you out there and, YES, those are the comment that he finds amusing, plus many more. I can't remember all of them, b/c I just simply ignore him now. Oh, he likes when they "get the puck in deep".

It's OK, somewhat juvenile men can be rather entertaining.

Vanek's Hair said...

Jennifer - Yes, there are others. I also enjoy some of the rather violent terminology in play by play like "Guns it toward the net" "Fires a rocket" And literal translation of the colloquial expressions "The Sabres can't find the net" Well no wonder they can't score.

Yes, watching a televised game with me is a truly tedious experience.

Heather B. said...

There was one turn of phrase this season that KILLED me but I can't remember how it went. I do remember that it somehow combined Lundqvist going down with Spacek's stick or something along those lines. Variations of "in his own end" are usually good for some laughs too.

Jennifer said...

Vanek's Hair: "Yes, watching a televised game with me is a truly tedious experience."

I really wish I could find some Sabres fans (or any hockey fans at this point) around here, but apparently southern Virginia is not big on hockey. I really have no one to enjoy watching the games with, except my 4 year old that runs around in circles in the living room yelling "Let's Go Buffalo". (Did I teach her well or what?)

Tessa said...

"Couldn't get good wood on it" is always good for a juvenile chuckle as well...

twoeightnine said...

I just can't wait for Bucky's plan to come to fruition. Someday this summer Bettman will wise up, send Drury and Briere back to Buffalo (both signing for 5 years at $25m), give up the Stanley Cups that are rightfully ours (this year's and last year's) and force Golisano to give the team to Bass Pro.

That's the only reason he writes the same column day in and day out right? To change the past.

ElmaGolf said...

Vanek's Hair - I have always seen that Bucky Gleason GM for a day as pretty strong evidence of him projecting when he (repeatedly) writes that the Sabres misread the market. Maybe they read the market, after all, they do that stuff for a living. Bucky Gleason misread the market, so obviously so did the Sabres front office.

Ahhh - Projection. Takes me back to Psych 101!

Actually, I think the Sabres often "read the market" but realize that the "value assigned" exceeds the player's "actual value." I think they said "Brian Campbell isn't worth more than $5MM a year, despite what some other GM is willing to pay." It takes a bit of courage to stand up to that and I respect Darcy for doing so (even if he's not perfect).

ElmaGolf said...

Jennifer - "It's OK, somewhat juvenile men can be rather entertaining."

NOW the women come clean and tell me that. All those years watching Beavis & Butthead - I never knew I should have been taking notes.

That's OK - I still managed to "luck into" my fiancee. She loves the Sabres.
Unfortunately, she's also a Browns Fan (birth defect from growing up west of Erie).

S.A.M. said...

I too make completely inappropriate comments during broadcasts, soemtimes my own asides to what they are saying, sometimes taking it the wrong way. It drove my brother-in-law crazy for a while, when he first started watching with me.

things like "Derek Roy has good hands" would lead me to say stuff like "I bet he does" and every time he'd look at me with this exasperated expression. It's hilarious and it makes things more entertaining all around.

Also amusing is reading the blurbs on the back of hockey cards. There was a really great one about Alfredsson that I can't remember off the top of my head, but it made me laugh so hard that I kept the card- the only reason to ever own an Alfie card. I think I still have it somewhere, I'll try to find it.

ElmaGolf said...

Vanek's Hair: "Yes, watching a televised game with me is a truly tedious experience."

My fiancee can sympathize. I'm not sure how many times more in her life she can hear "Helloooo - anyone ever heard of Interference?"

Jennifer: "I really have no one to enjoy watching the games with, except my 4 year old that runs around in circles in the living room yelling "Let's Go Buffalo". (Did I teach her well or what?)"

My proudest day as a Poppa was when my 20 month old son walked into the living room, saw a Sabres Game on, and started banging on the screen going "Ha Gee!! Ha Gee!!"

Second proudest - When he could do the B-B-B-B-B-Bills portion of the "Bills Rap."

Anonymous said...

I've always wondered if the players were allowed to order all the room service, movies, and other extras they wanted.

I think room service and such comes out of their per diem.

But $65 worth of movies in one afternoon is a bit much.

TheTick said...

My favorite juvenile phrase having to do with the Sabres (now even MORE apropos thanks to 289's earlier comment about Max in Rochester) is when Lindy was telling the media that Max 'felt his groin a bit' after practice and would still be out. Cut down on the movies, Max!

Jennifer said...

Vanek & Elma - 2 of my husband's favorites from tonight's game were:

"squirts out underneath him" (that's so 2nd grade"


"just ease it on in"

I can't believe they pulled that off. If any team can pull off the impossible, I believe it is BUFFALO!!!

Schnookie said...

Look, Heather! I'm commenting! Isn't this exciting?

I just wanted to share my all-time favorite inadvertent double-entendres from hockey broadcasters. There was Gary Thorne's orgasmic "In, in, in Steve Yzerman" mancrush call of a Stevie Y. goal back in the ESPN era, and then the description by Daryl Reaugh once of Rob Blake's skill as a PP point man: "He has an elephant gun in the back end." They're like Tobias on "Arrested Development", these guys. They need to walk around recording themselves for a day, and then play it all back to hear what they sound like. I can just see Thorne now: "Oh, Gary, you blowhard..."

Heather B. said...

Schnookie, I thought the world was conspiring to keep you off Blogger?!

(Nice to see you! :P)