Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Dear Buffalo Sabres...

Dear Buffalo Sabres Not Named Ryan Miller,

This is Ryan Miller. Maybe you recognize him?

He's your goalie. He's pretty important. It's his job to keep the puck - that little black piece of rubber - out of your net. The closer the guys on the other team get to the net, the harder that is for him to do. Now, this may be hard to follow since some nights you wear blue and other nights you wear white, but see if you can stay with me here. There shouldn't be a guy wearing a color that doesn't match Ryan right in front of him. Here, take a look at this. Maybe you're visual learners:

Do you see how Ryan is so busy dealing with the guy in front of him that he's not really looking at the puck? That's bad, okay? If the puck goes in your net more than it goes in the other net, you lose. That's why it's really important that your goalie be able to focus on the puck. You know who should be taking care of the guy in white (or a dark color - remember, the opposite of what you and Ryan are wearing)? You! I know! Here's what the picture above should have looked like:

I'm using a picture from a Montreal game because that's what I had handy. Please understand that this applies to every game against every opponent.

Heather B.


Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kate said...

I removed my first comment on account of its extreme crankiness. That was a rough game, but this is a really funny post, Heather!

I hope the Sabres read this post and take it to heart. Maybe someone should print it out and tape it up in the locker room or something.

Heather B. said...

Kate, glad you enjoyed the post. I was just telling Mark the other day how they seemed to be doing a better job of keeping people out of the crease but that went all to hell last night. First of all, I don't really think the Ducks were interfering that much, they were just buzzing around like crazy. Second of all, if it's clear the ref isn't going to get people out of your goalie's crease then DO IT YOURSELF! It's not hard!

I can't believe I stayed up so late - and put off Project Runway - for that. Ugh.

amy said...

Lately, the only Sabre I've seen give two hoots about Crunchy's real estate is Pratt. And what's really sad about that is Pratt's the new guy. He hasn't been on the team for too long, so he theoretically has no attachment to Miller. The guys that have been on the team for awhile should be the ones sticking up for Miller. If I were Miller, I'd be more po'd about that. If that makes any sense.

Meg said...

This is great, Heather. Lindy should print it out and use it as a teaching tool.

Mark B said...

After watching last night's game I think it gives creedence to the people who say we need to get bigger and more physical, especially on the blue line. On the other hand, we don't want slow pokes like Derian Hatcher or Nick Boynton.

If we could only clone Pratt and install Soupy's skating ability in him, we'd be all set!

twoeightnine said...

I'm just not sure what you're getting at here?

-Derek Roy@

bk said...

tim connolly sprained something just reading that post. jochen hecht read that post, and glumly went about his business. nathan paetsch decided he would rather read the post from rochester while pratt and sekera steal his job. and andrew peters can't read, but he appreciated the photos.

Becky said...

Excellent post! I first glanced at this elsewhere, where the pictures were blocked and had to get the "whole picture" here.

I'm glad I don't stay up that late - looks like I didn't miss much.

By the way - Heather B, Buffalo NY, Afghanistan? You just wanted to see if someone noticed right?

Heather B. said...

By the way - Heather B, Buffalo NY, Afghanistan? You just wanted to see if someone noticed right?

What the?! I have no idea when or how that happened! Bizarre. (But yeah, good eyes, Becky. It probably would've been years before I noticed.)

KMS2 said...

I can't believe I stayed up so late - and put off Project Runway - for that.

I LOVE Project Runway! My favorite is the young kid, Christian, because he always overexaggerates everything.

Anyway, I love the photos with the captions. Poor Miller, he really deserves better.