Friday, February 29, 2008

Poetry Corner

This game was awful. One of the worst games ever. The only way I could deal with it was by writing haiku. Why haiku? Because iambic pentameter is too demanding, of course. (Okay, it's actually because Pookie and Schnookie wrote a haiku post over at Interchangeable Parts yesterday and all the commenters there have been throwing around haikus ever since.)

The Sabres are dumb
Montreal’s powerplay, great
Stop taking stupid penalties you stupid morons

(My rhythm is off a little on that last line. I had to warm-up, okay?)

I hate Kotalik
He really pisses me off
Please trade him right now

Max is really fast
That’s all he’s really good for
Please trade him right now

Harry Neale is old
I think he’s going senile
Please trade him right now

Henrik Tallinder
At least he’s still real pretty
Unlike tonight’s game

Winning is big fun
But we’re better at losing
God hates Buffalo

Harry Neale is old
He thinks we should score goals
No shit, you old man

One more goal for Habs
Crunchy’s five hole was gaping
This game really blows

This game really blows
Haikus are a lot more fun
Like them more than hockey

Carey Price in goal
Looks really good there tonight
Sabres won't shoot the puck

This is not much fun
When does football season start
Bills can’t be much worse

Second goal for us
Price looked like a rookie there
Too little, too late

Sabres playing hard
Games are sixty minutes long
They just don’t get it

Habs are really good
I think they’ll win the conference
I hate them for it

Two-on-one again
Henrik breaks up the passing
Ryan muffs rebound

Game is really bad
Mark turned off television
Can't really blame him

Buffalo Sabres
are never winning again.
Wish I could quit them

11 comments:

Schnookie said...

Who knew when Andrew starting writing a day's worth of haikus at IPB that it could turn into such a therapeutic thing for all of us?

Kate said...

Haikus will save us all. They really do make me feel better even though I'm not very good at them.

karen said...

haiku marvelous
that hockey game not so much
why can't we beat Habs?

I'd like to cross-post
your poem to haiku blog
Haiku! Gesundheit.

All entries haiku
Comments haiku, save one from
Sneaky Limerick Guy

Patty (in Dallas) said...

Obssessed with haikus
Suddenly can't stop writing
I'll lose interest soon.

Heather B. said...

Karen:

Haiku! Gesundheit
is really entertaining.
Feel free to cross-post!

Patty, a haiku just for you:

Skate was in the crease.
That's my Stanley Cup you have.
God hates Buffalo.

:P

Ryan said...

Nice work Heather but
Vanbiesbrouck says it is not
"Poetic Justice"

Vanek's Hair said...

Is it just me or did Max not even look fast? He looked like a slightly above average skating turnover machine.

Memo to the Sabres penalty kill:

Next time you play Montreal, watch the cross-ice pass.

Memo to Jochen Hect:

Whatever is wrong with you, tape it up, take the needle, get a transplant, teach me to play the way do, whatever. You are sorely missed. (1-4 in your absence, so far, by my count). Sure, no one will appreciate it, but PLEASE fix yourself!!!

Heather B. said...

Very funny, Ry!
But we all know that Beezer
is just not that smart.

Vanek's Hair:

I miss sweet Yo-Yo
His crappy teammates do too
So underrated

shelli said...

I have to admit
I think Kotalik is HOT
My head hangs in shame

Heather B. said...

Hi, Shelli!

Al is kind of hot
It's the hockey part I hate
he drives me crazy

karen said...

Haiku! Gesundheit.
Now features Sabres Haiku;
Links back to your post.