Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dear Hockey Gods...

In honor of NaBloPoMO, I'll be attempting to post something every day in November. If you're not checking in every day, make sure you're catching all the posts!

Dear Hockey Gods,

Listen, you're really starting to bug me. It was one thing when you sent Ryan Miller home after a stellar playoffs while his little brother got his name carved into the Stanley Cup after playing 132 seconds all season. I didn't like that but hey, the Ducks were a great team and the Sabres played like garbage. It was mean but I get it.

And I really can't complain about the Sabres first few losses. They looked like they didn't realize the season had started yet. But now? Now they're working pretty hard and despite the conventional wisdom that hard work eventually pays off in goals, the Sabres could not buy a goal right now, not even with Vanek throwing in his salary. They're hitting posts, goalies who aren't that good are playing like Dom in his prime against them, and opponents are capitalizing on the one or two glaring mistakes the team makes in a game. I know you saw the goal that Boston tied the game with the other night. It was ridiculous. Seriously, what was that?

I feel, Hockey Gods, like you're playing with the hearts and minds of Buffalo fans and that's really not right. We've been through the wringer here and that's not even taking into consideration what your buddies the Football Gods have done to us. I'm a little tired of it, and quite frankly, I'm done playing your reindeer games. Until you start doing your part and getting some of those pucks into the net, I'm done. I'm keeping the Derek Roy wallpaper up no matter how many games we lose. I'm trash-talking other teams regardless of how bad our record is. I'm going to run my mouth all week about how the Sabres are going to slaughter the Senators Thursday night. (And you can tell the Football Gods that the Bills are destroying the Patriots on Sunday!) As soon as I'm done here, I'm going to Scarlett Ice to razz Sherry and all the other Sens fans. When it's 0-0 three minutes into the game on Thursday, I'm going to turn to Mark with a big grin on my face and say, "Looks like Ryan's getting a shut-out tonight!" And the next time I see the Stanley Cup, not only am I touching it, I'm hugging it tightly to my chest and then holding it aloft while bellowing, "BEHOLD THE BUFFALO SABRES, 2008 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!"

In closing, screw you, Hockey Gods!

Heather B.


Kate said...

Oh my God, what have you DONE Heather?! You've DOOMED us with this letter.

Listen, it's not too late. They'll think you were kidding if you take the Derek Roy wallpaper down.

(You think it's going to be 0-0 after three minutes? Dude. That's a pretty bold statement. :D Just kidding. The Sabres will be up 12-0 by then.)

Anonymous said...

Ha! You rock Heather! Good post. And if it makes you feel any better, the Canucks had this exact same problem with puck luck last year. It eventually ended and they went on a tear and were scoring a few goals. Plus the Nucks don't even have as much fire power up front as the Sabres. Go Sabres!

Sherry said...

Oh well, it was nice knowing you, Heather!

(Seriously, at least save yourself some dignity by removing Derek Roy).