I've been watching you so far this season and I can't help but notice that you play really, really differently on the road than you do at home. I've been trying to reason this out and find a logical explanation, and I think I might have hit on the answer. It can't be you. I mean, it just makes no sense for the same group of players to play so poorly in one place and so well everywhere else, right? You have the same coaching staff everywhere. You have the same teammates everywhere. When I really thought about it, the only thing different was us, the fans. Clearly, the home/road divide is all our fault.
I'm really sorry, guys but, well, the truth is, I'm just trying to be way too fancy with my support. I love you guys! I want to put on the best show that I can! Sometimes when I'm high-fiving at the arena, especially when I'm trying to high-five the guy too far away and behind me, I miss. Or sometimes I try to squeeze in one high-five too many and the puck has already dropped again before I get the last one in. I totally missed my chance to applaud and cheer! I'm trying to do too much. But it's hard! I want to do so well for the home team! You guys deserve my best.
I really wish you could see me cheer when you're on the road. There's a lot less pressure then, and I'm freaking awesome. I never miss a high-five, I perfectly time the leap from the couch with the goal - never too soon, never too late. I stay within myself. I don't try to do too much. I play The Cheering System perfectly. When you're home that all goes out the window and The Cheering System is left in poor, pathetic shambles.
This is clearly affecting all of you, and I'm sorry. I'm going to try really hard to be better. I know if I'm making the appropriate noises at the appropriate volume level at the appropriate times that will somehow make you better at hockey. I'm aware of the problem, and I'm going to work on it. That's my promise to you as a Sabres fan.
Let's go Buff-a-lo!