Monday, June 29, 2009

Top Shelf Makes a Wish

One of the things on Artvoice's list of 100 things to do in Buffalo during the summer was to get your fortune told by the vending machine lady on Clifton Hill in Niagara Falls, Ontario. Not really ingwhere Clifton Hill is, I cast that one aside. However my mom is a big fan of lighthouses so the Henderson family took the scenic route to Rochester and stopped at a few places along the way. We were at what I believe was Olcott Beach (don't quote me on that though) when I found this:


Score!

Now, I've seen Big a number of times. I know these machines hold some crazy power and that any wish made upon them should be sincere and carefully thought out. I mulled it over for a while before depositing my 50 cents and didn't step forward until my decision was made and my wish was the only thing on my mind.


I WISH THE SABRES DIDN'T SUCK OUT LOUD.

The machine initially gave me a muddled and confusing message about age just being a number. I wasn't sure what that meant. Was it a mistake to let Teppo go because of his age? Or is it okay to bring Tyler Myers up to the big club despite his age? While I mulled that over, my fortune appeared before me.


Well, that certainly sounds promising but I thought it needed a little interpreting yet. After consulting with Esmeralda a little longer, I'm pretty sure this is what it means:

I see a great deal of happiness in store for you (possibly as early as Wednesday). You will receive a letter soon (from Darcy Regier), and that letter can easily be said to change the whole course of your life (by offering an assistant GM position). You deserve this happiness (via a large, shiny Cup) because you have been so faithful and sincere in your love (to an occasionally bratty, always underachieving, and just plain sucky hockey team).

So Sid, enjoy that Cup while you can. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be yours for long. The power of Esmeralda is against you.

7 comments:

Pookie said...

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I'm pretty sure there's no way that fortune doesn't come true!

amy said...

I'd fall off my chair if that fortune came true.

And Clifton Hill is right around the corner from Casino Niagara in Niagara Falls, Ontario. It's a complete tourist trap - arcade games, Ripley Museums, souvenir shops - but it's a lot of fun to walk up and do some people watching after you've gawked at the Falls for awhile.

Katebits said...

AAAAAAHAHAHA! I feel SO much better about the Sabres now!

While you're in tourist-y places, you should put a penny into one of those machines that smushes it down into a souvenir medallion. I love those.

Erin said...

I love this post!! I need some kind of irrational reason to have hope!

Lee Andrew said...

Wish granted! The Sabres will suck quietly from now on.

Kevin said...

Oh, come on! How unrealistic!

Nobody sends letters anymore...

Heather B. said...

Amy, I totally know where Clifton Hill is now. Duh. I've been there!

Kate, I have quite a collection of those pennies. My grandmother used to always travel with us and she loved those.

Erin, I'm glad you enjoyed the post but I'm not sure what you mean by "irrational." :P

Kevin, ha. Normally I'd say you have a point, but this is the Sabres we're talking about. I could get that letter via carrier pigeon. I don't think they've quite figured out new media.