If I Ruled the NHL...

So yeah, hockey. Remember that? Last off-season was a pretty wretched one to live through as a fan but as a blogger it was way better than this one. There was something to write about right up until the puck dropped the next season! I'm dying here, people.

Over at Puck Daddy (Kate accidentally called it Puck Bunny one day so now we always refer to it as that), Greg W. has been running a series where different people share 5 ways they'd change the NHL. So here, for your reading enjoyment, are my changes. Some of them are repeats of things that have already been said over there but hey, deal with it:

1. Extend overtime to 10 minutes and bring back the tie.
I can certainly understand not wanting to play marathon games during the regular season but five minutes of overtime isn't enough. Just as the teams are starting to create some pressure and get some good chances, the horn goes off and we move to a shootout which, by the way, sucks donkeys. If we're all agreed that the shootout isn't good enough to decide who wins a playoff game - and oh, sweet lord may that day never come - it's not good enough to help determine who gets into the playoffs in the first place. I admit, when I first started watching hockey I hated ties. Now I'm over it.

2. Shorten the regular season.
Do we really need 82 games? I could lose ten games, easy. There's always a stretch at the end of the regular season where I'm ready for the season to end and I love hockey. If we end the season sooner it cuts down on some of the grind on players and we can also start the playoffs sooner. Maybe the ice would be better for the most important games of the season and I would sure appreciate not having to sweat through my jersey in May and June. (To the wise guys out of town, no, it is not still snowing in Buffalo in June.)

3. Make player tees available for any player in the league.
If you go to the shop at MLB.com you can order a player tee for any player on any team. If I want to order a Detroit Tigers tee that says VAN SLYKE 18 on the back, by golly, I can. I may be the only putz in the world wearing a jersey tee for a first base coach but hey, I'll be happy. It seems so simple that it kind of boggles my mind that you can't do the same for the NHL. Seriously? Is it that hard to iron on letters and numbers, NHL? One of the best things about sports, particularly hockey, is how those little role guys can steal your heart. If people out there want Andrew Peters' name and number on their back, God bless 'em, they should be able to get it and they should be able to get it without have to plunk down $200 for a jersey.

4. Lose the kicking motion rule and do something about the inconsistent officiating.
If the puck goes off a skate, it's not a goal. The end. I can't sit through another debate about whether the player used a kicking motion or was merely turning his skate to come to a stop. I'm convinced the same goal wouldn't be called the same way one night as it would be the next so it's time to lose the rule.

And please, call the game the same way in the third period as you do in the first, the same way at the end of the season as you do at the beginning, and the same way in the playoffs as you do in the regular season. I don't even care how you call it - blow the whistle for the slightest infraction, let everything go - I'd just like to know what to expect.

BONUS OFFICIATING CHANGE:

Tell the crowd in the arena why a goal review was called the way it was. The refs are already mic'd up. I don't need a lengthy explanation, just a simple, "Upon review it was ruled that the puck was gloved into the net." Sometimes it's obvious what's being looked at but sometimes you're stuck with no clue. On at least a couple of occasions last season I was trying to get a peek at the TVs in the press box to see if I could ascertain what the problem was.

5. Don't let people order jerseys with their own names on them.
Some people needed to be protected from themselves. You look stupid, people.

A couple of random Olympic thoughts:

Kate reminded me of something that I keep meaning to bring up. One of the things I dislike about the Olympics is that I think silver is far prettier than gold. I'd totally want a silver medal. (104th thing about me: My engagement ring and wedding band are platinum, not gold. I don't wear a lot of jewelry anyway - 105th thing about me! - but I don't own a single piece of gold jewelry.)

And regarding the judging controversy in the women's uneven bars, good grief, give it a rest, NBC. I personally don't understand why there can't be two of a certain medal awarded if gymnasts have the same final score, but everyone knew coming into the competition that there was a tie-breaker system and the explanation wasn't really that hard to follow. And while I understand that as an athlete it would be tough to not end up with the medal you feel you deserved, hello, THAT'S HOW GYMNASTICS WORKS! If you don't want a judge to have the final say-so on where you finish, well, I guess you should have become a swimmer.

This Game's Going to Ooooooovertiiiiiiiiiiime!

11:03 - I'm staying up to watch this game but if the Pens win I am not going to be happy. I'm staying up for the Stanley Cup and the Stanley Cup alone.

11:07 - Some people over at IPB where I'm currently hanging out aren't happy about the Detroit crowd chanting "We want the Cup!" I admit, I would totally be chanting “We want the Cup!” if I were in their shoes. Every God in the universe hates Buffalo so we’d get smitten anyway, I’m sure. May as well enjoy the game before it happens.

11:15 - I'm thinking it would be helpful if Detroit moved the puck to the other end of the ice. Might be easier to score.

11:22 - I either need the Penguins to win soon or the Red Wings to win eventually. If I’m going to stay up for another OT I need a guarantee the Wings are going to win. Someone guarantee!

11:24 - Bullhonky goalie interference call on Henrik Zetterberg. One of my least favorite things about officiating in the NHL is how often coaches complaining about it has an effect.

11:43 - CBC is doing a highlight package to These Eyes by the Guess Who. Maybe it's just the late hour but I'm totally cracking up.

11:47 - Second OT. You can tell I've spent too much time this season reading game diaries at Sabres Edge because I actually just thought, "Bummer, John Vogl is probably going to miss deadline. Poor guy."

11:50 - Okay, that was a bullhonky goalie interference call. Maybe the last one was debatable but this was total crap. Seriously, after that I don't want to hear another Penguins fan complain about Osgood diving because Fleury went down awfully hard and far for a guy who barely got bumped. Terrible. I thought we were trying to get rid of diving?

11:52 - That said, Fleury is the only reason the Penguins haven't lost this game already. He's been lights out.

11:55 - Tim Kennedy looks a little bit like Brian Campbell 2.0 - slightly awkward-looking, stringy red hair. I'm sure he'll get along fine with the girls anyway though.

12:05 - Shower, brush teeth, wash face, race back to the TV.

12:30 - The one good thing about all this extra hockey - besides extra hockey! - is extra Kelly Hrudey. Kelly Hrudey!

12:31 - Third OT. The Red Wings are going to win, right? Right? Please say I'm right.

12:34 - Franzen just misses a nice opportunity in front of the net. I've been wondering, just how does a mule skate anyway? I would think very awkwardly. It must take extra skill to coordinate four legs.

12:40 - This game is beginning to take on that "someone is going to make a bone-headed mistake that leads to a goal" feel about it. As much as I want to see the Cup, I do hate those endings.

12:41 - NEXT GOAL WINS!

12:47 - Aww, hell. This whole season blows. The Hockey Gods hate me even when the Sabres aren't playing. Still, I did originally say Wings in six. Please say I'm going to be right about that.

This Game's Going to Ooooooovertiiiiiiiime!

It's late so I'm going to make this short and sweet. But first! My husband Marky Mark came out of hiding and commented on "O Captain, My Captain." And okay, I pretty much browbeat him into it ("You had a blog for four months and didn't tell me about it so I'll comment when I'm good and ready!") but everyone please say hi!

Why I Love Hockey #17 - Playoff Overtime Games
There really is nothing else in all of sports like overtime in the playoffs in the NHL. Nothing. I've mentioned before that I grew up in Alabama, not exactly a hockey-centric area. The Sabres' playoff run in 1999 was my first real dose of the NHL, and the excruciating, agonizing excitement of overtime really helped suck me into the sport. I'll never forget totally ignoring my babysitting duties during the first OT of Game Six, scooting to the edge of my seat every time the Sabres took the puck into the offensive zone and leaping up with every shot or sinking into the couch and covering my eyes every time Dallas had the puck in our zone. I'll never forget jumping in the car and breaking every speed limit between the Hamilton's house and mine in an effort to get home before the second OT started. I'll never forget the knot in the center of my stomach and the devastating suddeness of the loss. Things were going, going, going and boom! Just like that it was all over. Even though the Sabres lost, I really think it was partly the memory of the fun and agony of that night that led me back to hockey. Basketball's overtime scoring goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Baseball's extra innings are, with the exception of a walk-off homer, long and slow. Runners move progressively around the bases and the other team often has a chance to tie the game back up. You can see it coming. Same with football. Even though it's sudden death, play generally moves slowly down the field. Overtime hockey isn't like that. Guys fight and scrap, leaving everything they have on the ice, and with one shot, it's all over. Someone's a winner and someone's a loser. It's an amazing high when you're the winner and completely heart-breaking when you're the loser, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Agony and Ecstasy Pt. II: The Internet Hates Me

My internet connection has been crap all day so who knows when this will finally post. For the record, I wrote this Sunday night.

I missed most of regulation because of my second job – curse you, credit card debt! – but I'm not as upset about that as I'd usually be because I hate watching our struggling power play more than anything else. How, how, how can a power play be so good one season and so darn crappy the next season when there wasn't a drastic change in personnel? Did J.P. Dumont really make that much difference? Are we missing Jay McKee? (Kidding.) I don't get it. I'm ready to blow up the whole thing and start all over. Throw guys who have never played on the power play before out there. Let Ryan play the point. I don't know. I do know this: One, it can't get much worse. Two, we're not going to beat Ottawa/Jersey/Anaheim/San Jose by going 1 for 10 every night.

A few random thoughts:

- Despite the loss, I feel pretty good. It sucks to play for that long and lose but I don't think anyone really expected us to take both games at MSG. Kudos to the boys for pulling themselves together and battling as long and hard as they did – I do love that you can't ever really count them out – but it's probably about time we lost a game like this. We've been living dangerously.

- I can't believe yet another goal review went in our favor. That alone is almost enough to make me believe it's our year. Honestly, I could've seen that review going either way and I'll admit I'm fine with it because it favored my team. But I do agree with Ray Ferraro that the kicking rule should be done away with. Is there really that much difference between a guy using his foot and using his stick? If it goes in the net, it goes in the net. The skater could head it in for all I care. I think Ferraro lost his mind a little with the whole "a review shouldn't take more than 2 minutes" argument though. What are they supposed to do at the end of two minutes, Ray? Poll the war room? Flip a coin? I can't believe Brett Hull was the voice of reason but he was absolutely right – take as long as it takes if it means getting the call right. Incidentally, you should've seen the look on my husband's face when he realized he was agreeing with Brett Hull. I'm sure minds across Buffalo were short circuiting at the sudden disconnect with the usual Hull related thoughts.

- How about Old Man Numminen stopping that shot from going in? NBC's 1800 replays might've been overkill, but it was a heads-up play nonetheless. I love Lydman and Tallinder and I think they've done an outstanding job this series (glove tap to NBC for giving them a little love), but I was a tad disappointed that no one got a stick on the goal that rolled lazily between Ryan's legs and across the goal line. I loved Emerick and Olczyk going on and on about Teppo's "homemade" sticks. Guys, he owns a stick company. He's not whittling them out of the trees in his backyard. Anyway… maybe the Teppo haters will back off for a day. I haven't decided how I feel about Teppo coming back for another season when Nathan Paetsch is waiting in the wings, but I don't understand how anyone can criticize Teppo for what he's done in Buffalo these last couple of years. I don't think it's any coincedence that a couple of our young defensemen have really come along while playing with him.

- Good lord, enough with Jaromir Jagr. If I had to listen to anyone on NBC rave about how much Jagr seems to be enjoying the playoffs this year and how involved he's been in the play this year, I might've put my fist through the TV screen – and I missed the first two periods of regulation. Guess what, NBC? Jagr is not a 19-year-old kid who's playing over his head. He's a 35-year-old veteran who is in the 16th season of his NHL career. We shouldn't be jumping with excitement and praising him for finally playing with a little passion. We should be wondering what the hell took so long! You can tell me he's grown-up and matured all you want. I'm not buying it. It looks to me like he's in a situation where the organization and coach have given him whatever he's asked for. I'm not impressed that he's suddenly happy and excited. Jagr absolutely had a good game today and he's had a very good career but I can't help but feel that he's wasted a lot of talent over the years. If you put his skill into the body of someone with the heart and passion of Chris Drury then you'd have a player worth celebrating. I'm almost afraid to imagine the career that guy would have. Until that happens, shut up.

Even though we lost, I was reminded today that there really is nothing else in all of sports like overtime in the playoffs in the NHL. Nothing. I've mentioned before that I grew up in Alabama, not exactly a hockey-centric area. The Sabres' playoff run in 1999 was my first real dose of the NHL, and the excruciating, agonizing excitement of overtime really helped suck me into the sport. I'll never forget totally ignoring my babysitting duties during the first OT of Game Six, scooting to the edge of my seat every time the Sabres took the puck into the offensive zone and leaping up with every shot or sinking into the couch and covering my eyes every time Dallas had the puck in our zone. I'll never forget jumping in the car and breaking every speed limit between the Hamilton's house and mine in an effort to get home before the second OT started. I'll never forget the knot in the center of my stomach and the devastating suddeness of the loss. Things were going, going, going and boom! Just like that it was all over. Even though the Sabres lost, it was largely the memory of the fun and agony of that night that led me back to hockey when the next season started. Basketball's overtime scoring goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Baseball's extra innings are, with the exception of a walk-off homer, long and slow. Runners move progressively around the bases, the other team often has a chance to tie the game back up. You can see it coming. Same with football. Even though it's sudden death, play generally moves slowly down the field. Overtime hockey isn't like that. Guys fight and scrap, leaving everything they have on the ice, and with one shot, it's all over. Someone's a winner and someone's a loser. It's an amazing high when you're the winner and completely heart-breaking when you're the loser, but I wouldn't have it any other way.