Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Gift of Thanks for Ryan Miller

Dear Ryan Miller,

I think you're pretty awesome. You were awesome in the first half of the season, and you were awesome in the Olympics. I'm awfully proud of you and the attention you've brought to the the NHL, the Sabres, and Buffalo. I can't wait to see you lead your teammates into the playoffs because I know when push comes to shove, you'll make sure everyone's heads are right even if that means banging a few of them together.

As a show of my thanks, I've written the NHL and asked them to approve the Ryan Miller Trapezoid. That's right! Because of all you've done for the league this season, you'll be getting your very own trapezoid for the remainder of the season and the post-season! You won't be boxed in the way those other goalies are. These dimensions were worked up to favor your specific brand of puck-handling. You think Marty Brodeur wouldn't kill to have a trapezoid that works in his favor? Of course he would! This is a tremendous honor, and don't be humble, Ryan. You've earned it.

Presenting The Ryan Miller Trapezoid!

Let's play some playoff hockey!


Heather B.


Katebits said...


Mark B said...

Good one! It should be extended to P. Lalime to, though

amy said...

Ha! The trapezoid works so much better than chaining him to the post. Less worry about him tripping over the leash or accidentally strangling a teammate with it after they screen him one too many times.

Ebscer said...