Saturday, May 19, 2007

Did I Say I Liked Ottawa?

FIVE REASONS WHY I, HEATHER BERMINGHAM OF BUFFALO, NY, WILL NEVER CHEER FOR THE OTTAWA SENATORS IN THE STANLEY CUP FINALS

1. I cannot stand Bryan Murray. I can't look at him. I can't listen to him. I have no logical explanation, I just don't like the guy. I get a knot in my stomach thinking about him having a Stanley Cup before Lindy Ruff.

2. I cannot stand Ray Emery. I can't look at him. I can't listen to him. I cannot read or listen to one more report about what a good goalie he is now. Because he isn't. He isn't a good goalie. He's a totally average goalie who would look ridiculous some nights if he played on a team with a defense that isn't as strong as Ottawa's.

3. I hate it when teams win a series on the visitor's ice. I was torn between wanting to hang around and salute my team after the handshakes and wanting to run so I wouldn't have to watch the carpet and tables being rolled out. Ottawa, the least you could've done was win in your own barn. You bastards!

4. Buffalo fans need company in the world of Repeatedly Watching Your Team Get Near a Championship and Then Having it Slip Through Its Fingers. Why should Ottawa win a championship before us? It's not fair!

5. I cannot stand Ray Emery. I can't look at him. I can't listen to him. Ryan Miller should be playing in the Stanley Cup Finals, dammit!

We'll have to wait until the Finals actually begin to see which post I meant more - the pro-Ottawa or the anti-Ottawa.

Bah!

(More coherent, less vitriol thoughts later.)

6 comments:

Meg said...

I cannot stand Ray Emery. I can't look at him. I can't listen to him. I cannot read or listen to one more report about what a good goalie he is now. Because he isn't. He isn't a good goalie. He's a totally average goalie who would look ridiculous some nights if he played on a team with a defense that isn't as strong as Ottawa's.

I'm thinking, or beginning to think, that I can and will cheer for Ottawa, but oh my goodness does Emery make it difficult. When he is, someday, looking average at best behind a mediocre defense, the shadenfreude I feel will be immense. Immense. I hate him and I hate his stupid boxing masks. And his stupid hummer (I'm very happy being hypocritical and ignoring the fact that players I like also drive stupid, environment destroying cars). Hate, hate, hate.

He and Neil make the senators a very difficult team to cheer for.

KMS2 said...

I, too, cannot stand Bryan Murray. He sounds like such a d-bag, like the kind of person who acts like he's better than you. And I agree that Ray Emery has not been outstanding during these playoffs and I'm surprised that his team has been able to carry him into the Finals.

LeeAndrew said...

I understand your pain but there is no way I can approve of a Detroit or Anaheim championship season. I think I'll just sit this one out.

Schnookie said...

The Emery/Murray combo really does make the Sens utterly loathsome. I just can't wait to see Emery exposed for the loser he really is, whether it's in the Cup Final, or whether it has to play out like Cam Ward's comeuppance this past season. And I'm with Meg -- I will happily justify part of my hatred for him with the whole "he drives a Hummer like a complete asshole" argument all while ignoring the dearth of eco-friendly vehicles in the Devils' team parking lot...

Steph said...

Amen to the Emery hate, Heather. I just don't know. I mean maybe it's a little throwback to liking Raycroft just for being cute sometimes and that whole nickname battle thing (although you won't ever hear me calling Raycroft a good goalie either because uh...), but I hate hate hate him. He just. Argh.

And Schnookie, if he does pull something ridicuous off I will be totally cheering for the Cam Ward-esque failure next season, thanks for reminding me that all would not be lost!

Anonymous said...

hate to say it but buffalo beat ottawa at thier arena last year...but yah i hate ottawa and ray emery is not a great goalie he gets lucky so many times. Bryan murrays seems gay and he wines so much! Chris Neil is just a goon so yah Ottawas gay!