Get Your Game On, Go Play

So that All-Star game was pretty entertaining for the last five minutes or so, eh? Good job, NHL! A few - very few - random thoughts:

- Those uniforms were terrible. Seriously, what is so hard about designing a good-looking uniform? The Eastern Conference looked particularly putrid with the white paneling along the sides of the jerseys and down the pants. Also, we know these are All-Star jerseys, okay? You really don't have to cover the entire thing in stars.

- I don't think mic'd up Manny was quite up there with mic'd up Marty Turco but he came close with this exchange with Gary Bettman about the NHL "picking on goalies."

Manny: You've got to stop taking away inches!
Gary: You've got to stop being so big!
Manny: I'm 5'9"!

Next year I'm voting for Marty Biron no matter how his season is going because I need to hear him mic'd up for a game. Doc Emrick mentioned a couple of times that it was tough for the mic'd up players to hear him because of the noise level. Marty B. would not care! He would just keep talking about whatever popped into his head and it would all be worth listening to. Heck, we could just give Doc and Edzo the night off. They could put that game on pay-per-view and I'd order it without hesitation.

- The one thing I do like about the All-Star weekend is that there are always a few players who I either don't see or haven't paid much attention to who I find myself really noticing and liking. This usually happens in the playoffs too. Here's this year's list:

Zdeno Chara - He actually seems really smart and maybe kind of interesting to talk to. According to Sherry (of the wonderful Scarlett Ice), he was working toward a business degree during his time in Ottawa. I like that.

Rick Nash - Rick Nash looks a lot like my little brother Lee, right down to the sloppy, patchy beard which I adore. Also, thinking about how he was considered a pretty big disappointment last year gives me hope for Thomas Vanek.

Ilya Kovalchuk - I loved him playfully falling over in disbelief after whichever goalie was in at the time (Nabokov, I think) robbed him and then skating over and hugging him. I loved how much fun he seemed to be having all weekend. (I also loved Edzo confusing him with Alexander Ovechkin even though they look nothing alike because enjoying hockey is Ovechkin's shtick. No one else should be doing that!) I loved him pretty much admitting that his division is not very good. And he has a great head of hair.

Jarome Iginla - I hardly ever see him play so I always forget how much I love watching him on the ice. He also seems so personable and smiley off the ice. Why isn't the NHL marketing him more?

- I was not happy about Versus wasting time during intermission interviewing Chris Pronger. Ugh. I can think of five guys off the top of my head in that dressing room who would've been a more fun, entertaining interview.

- I've always assumed that Tomas Kaberle is Canadian, I guess because he plays for the Maple Leafs. I was shocked - shocked - when he started talking in an accent that was clearly not French-Canadian. He's Czech! How have I watched a billion Sabres-Leafs games and not realized this? I feel pretty dumb.

- Last week I finally saw the commercial with the new dad banging on the glass at the hospital nursery. I emailed a link to Mark because I thought he'd get a kick out of it and was disappointed that he didn't seem that impressed with it. It came on tonight, I started laughing hysterically as always, and he suddenly burst out with, "OHHHHHHHH! He's banging on the glass! Like a hockey fan! I GET IT! Hey, that is funny!" Next time I send him a link I'll be sure to carefully explain the joke. (I'm writing this was loving affection, dear.)

- Still not enough Joe Thornton! Seriously, people! He's talented, he's funny and oh so jolly, and he's cute as a (very large) button. What's the problem here?

More Joe, plz!
On a total side-note, who let Bucky Gleason write on Sabres Edge? My safe haven is ruined! I don't know if it was John Vogl or Mike Harrington who gave him the keys, but I am not happy. I am not happy at all. I actually left a comment which I swore I would never ever do again after this summer when some ass-wipe kept accusing me of being a 16-year-old puckbunny who loves Jason Pominville and doesn't understand anything about hockey while addressing nothing that I was actually saying. I hate myself right now! Oh, and Bucky, you left out the fact that Brian Campbell is now the FASTEST SKATER IN THE ENTIRE EASTERN CONFERENCE. Surely, that's worth another half million or so?

Gee, maybe the Sabres should have accepted his five-year, $25 million offer.

Gee, maybe some of us don't agree with you. Gee, maybe that would've been really stupid and short-sighted. Gee, maybe the fact that someone is going to give Campbell that much money doesn't make it a good deal. Gee, maybe the Sabres feel like Campbell isn't a good investment of five million a year in light of other contracts coming up. Gee, maybe I'm going to KICK SOMEONE'S TEETH IN if I EVER hear the numbers "5" and "25" again in my ENTIRE LIFE. Those numbers are RUINED FOREVER!

Hey, Now, You're an All-Star!

Some thoughts on Saturday's All-Star events:

- The new relay race was kind of cool but Versus clearly had no idea how to film it. The first round was over before they really caught up with the action. Liked it but I think I'd prefer if it was a timed event. Instead of each guying getting four passes/shots and scoring for each one that's successful they should have to attempt it until they're successful - or maybe successful a certain amount of times if that's too easy - before moving on to the next part. I don't know, it definitely needs to be longer though.

- I'm so disappointed the fastest man race isn't a full lap this year. Watching guys try desperately not to wipe out in the corners was the best part! The races were way too short this year. This is an all-star travesty!

- I'm still not sure how Brian Campbell won his heat even though he finished way behind the guy he was racing. Either the timers screwed up or they were timing from the blue line or some other point to give the players a running start. If the latter is the case, that's lame. Acceleration is part of speed in the NHL. A guy who can get to full speed faster deserves the leg up that gives him. Clearly the NHL is screwing with me because now I'm sure Campbell's agent and Bucky Gleason will be sure to work in that Campbell is the FASTEST SKATER IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE! (Versus probably explained how the timing was working but I wasn't paying attention and evidently no one I was watching with was either.)

There are maybe three or four people who will get why this photo cracked me up but I'm posting it anyway. Click on it for the full effect:

- The target shooting is probably my favorite event to watch. I had no idea Thomas Kaberle could shoot like that but I found myself really happy that he won. A Buffalo fan cheering for a Maple Leaf! Behold the power of All-Star Weekend!

- The Young Stars game was still a snooze though I do appreciate the NHL making it shorter. A lot of discussion amongst my group about whether Patrick Kane introduced himself as "P. Kane" or "Pete Kane" but during the game Manny Legace clearly said, "Go, Peter!" while Patrick was charging up the ice with the puck. I know Kane is a local kid so if anyone out there knows him or his family or has access to him or his family, please, please, please find out what's up with this whole "Peter" thing. I need to understand this. There's a free official Top Shelf t-shirt in it for you.* I lost track of the final score but I think it was 118-112.

- The camera angle on the first shootout event was terrible. Versus, when the camera man is behind the shooter I can't see the guy's stick and I can't see if the puck goes in the net. Those are kind of important to a shootout. I suppose I appreciate the attempt at something new but sometimes things are the way they are for a reason. No need to break the mold here, guys. Also, not every fan loves the shootout. I'm pretty sure I hate it now.

- I don't know if mic'd Manny Legace is quite up there with mic'd Marty Turco, but he was pretty good. My favorite moment was when he made a beautiful poke-check and then flailed helplessly at the rebound shot which went in for a goal and then exulted, "Did you see that awesome poke-check?!"

- I'm impressed that guys can hit the puck as hard as they do, but the hardest shot competition is a total snooze to watch on TV. Also, I don't think I'd ever heard Zdeno Chara interviewed until tonight. He's extremely well-spoken. I admit, I was a touch disappointed to learn that he doesn't talk in a mixture of caveman grunts and chimpanzee noises.

- The new breakaway challenge was kind of a disappointment at first - seriously, Pavel, that was not impressive - but it did get better as it went along. It would've been nice to see someone actually score but the creativity and effort were there at times. Even though he completely whiffed on the shot, I was pretty impressed with Ovechkin tossing the puck up in the air and then doing a 360 before swinging at the puck. Evidently he didn't play enough baseball growing up. I liked Ryan Getzlaf's moves but I think Marion Gaborik was robbed in the WC. I know there are people who hate Sidney Crosby being pushed so hard to the forefront but this event probably would've been better if he'd been here. I'd also like to see some kind of audition process behind the scenes because I'm sure there's a d-man on the All-Star squad somewhere who's not necessarily an offensive power in games who plays around with this stupid, showy stuff in practice and could pull off something wild.

- Scott Mellanby kept turning his scorecard around like he expected there to be a different number on the other side. I did like his response to how he would've handled this event though: "Not very well. I would've dumped it in and made the change."

- Some of the Sabres fans I was hanging with at Interchangeable Parts decided we would've liked to have seen two Sabres participate in the breakaway. We wanted to see Brian Campbell do a string of spin-o-ramas from center ice to the net and then wobble off the ice dizzily and we wanted to see Jochen Hecht take the puck down the ice, circle around the net, shoot from the worst angle on the ice, and bounce the puck off the goalie's back and both posts before it finally went in. I'm pretty sure he's actually done that before. Jochen would be so much better at this anything-goes shootout than the real thing.

- I have to give the NHL and NHL Network two thumbs up for the morning skate and red carpet coverage and also for streaming it all online for those of us who don't have NHL Network. It's true that one of the NHL's best assets is how likable and down-to-earth even the star players are and getting to see them in a more casual setting is fun. Jarome Iginla looked extremely dapper - guys, maybe more of you could wear ties next year? - and he has the best smile in professional sports. My favorite part of the red carpet though was probably Ilya Kovalchuk more or less admitting that the Thrashers are lucky their division sucks out loud.

- Not nearly enough Joe Thornton for my taste.

*Official Top Shelf t-shirts don't really exist. Sorry.

All-Star Weekend Ahoy!

So the All-Star break is upon us. I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of the All-Star Game. No defense, no hitting, and no real emotion? No thanks. I keep hearing about how great it is to see guys having fun but I'm not convinced most of them even want to be there. And despite the tweaking this year, you couldn't pay me good money to watch the Young Stars Game again. That was painful. I've seen more entertaining games in my gym class with my kids. But I am a total sucker for the skills competitions. In fact, let's call this...

Why I Love Hockey #35 - The All-Star Skills Competition

I've mentioned many, many times that I grew up in hockey no man's land (a.k.a. Birmingham, AL). Hockey was occasionally on TV but not enough that I ever really got hooked on a particular team. However I have very clear memories of watching the skills competitions. Before I knew anything about hockey, I knew that Ray Bourque had a scarily accurate shot. I knew Pavel Bure was really, really fast. Even before I was really a hockey fan, I was amazed at how much skill and athleticism the players involved in the various competitions had. I'd never been ice-skating in my life. Watching guys fly around the ice, legs pumping, jerseys flapping behind them, like it was the most natural thing in the world took my breath away. Watching people wind up and hit little tiny targets with a little tiny puck fascinated me. I was a pretty athletic kid and I just couldn't wrap my brain around some of the stuff I was seeing. And I feel the same way now. I don't know, I might be even more impressed now that I actually follow hockey. Watching game after game after game I think it's easy for fans to forget what exactly the guys are doing over and over through the course of a season. They're incredible athletes using a crazy variety of skills - strength, speed, balance, hand-eye coordination, hand-foot coordination, quick, soft hands - and they're doing it all ON ICE SKATES. That will never not amaze me. I think it's pretty cool for a bunch of NHLers to have the chance to get together and show off once a year. I also think this is where you really see the fun. You see the guys cracking up and laughing at and with each other. You see players who aren't on the same team during the season chat and hang out. It's really cool. I think it's the real celebration of how awesome these guys really are.

Listen, I'll unashamedly admit that I'm posting the video below for free swag from Versus - hey, it's a magnetic playoff tracker and a PUCK SHAPED ICE CUBE TRAY! That's awesome. But I would've written the above anyway because the skills competition is sweet. (Watch it on Versus, Saturday 1/26 at 7 p.m. Eastern!) And actually you know what? Despite what I said about the All-Star Game, it was probably worth it for mic'd up Marty Turco who was totally hilarious. So maybe you should watch that too after all.



Mic'd Up Marty Turco:

Dear God, When Will It End?

Okay, I've calmed down a little bit so I think it's safe to talk about the game for real. And while Ryan was terrible on both Clarkson's goal and in the shootout - what has happened to him in the shootout? - I know he's extremely tough on himself and I doubt he went to bed very happy after that game. That said, Ryan has to be great when his team needs him to be great. It was a big deal that the struggling offense managed to put two by Martin Brodeur. He needed to lock it down and he didn't.

In his postgame conference Lindy said, "We have not had ham and egg. We've had a lot of ham, had a lot of egg but we haven't mixed it up very well." While his choice of metaphors is... interesting, I get what he's saying and I actually said the same thing not that long ago. For whatever reason, the Sabres just cannot get every part of the game clicking at the same time. If the defense plays well, the offense struggles. If the offense looks good, the defense or goaltending struggles. It's so frustrating to watch because we've seen that both units can play well but the ineffective unit just completely kills what the other unit is doing.

Okay, I can't talk about this game anymore. Let's move on. Some random thoughts:

I was glad to see that Lindy Ruff finally kind of called out some players by praising the guys who have been killing themselves the last few games - Daniel Paille, Clarke MacArthur, Adam Mair, Mike Ryan - and saying that the guys who are not currently in the line-up - Derek Roy, Tim Connolly, Maxim Afinogenov - need to play better than they have been. I thought it was curious though that Brian Wheeler said on his blog on Sabres.com that Lindy was not saying "some guys need to play better or they're benched" but was saying "players need to play better for us to be successful." Now I'm willing to admit that Brian Wheeler probably has a better feel for Lindy since I'm assuming he actually talks to the man and I, unfortunately, do not, but that seems like an interesting interpretation of his words. Of course maybe I'm blinded by the fact that I hope that Lindy did mean "some guys need to play better or they're benched." Is Clarke MacArthur a better player than Roy, Connolly, or Afinogenov? No, probably not. Is a hard-working, enthusiastic MacArthur more valuable on the ice than a lazy Roy or an overly dipsy-doodling Connolly? Yeah, I think so. If they're playing hard and just not connecting - Jason Pominville and yes, Thomas Vanek - fine. If they're making the same mistakes over and over and over because they refuse to do something different, show them the pressbox for a game or two and see what happens.

I love them. I do. I'm really tired of all of them. I'm so tired of them that I changed my desktop wallpaper to a non-Sabre which is unprecedented during hockey season. At this point I would be fine with Lindy, Mike Robitaille, Rob Ray, and James Patrick starting the next game.

What was up with Brian Campbell getting the C for the game instead of one of the guys wearing the A? Although I will say - and it pains me a little to do so - he did have a couple of really nice defensive plays tonight.

Speaking of which, while Campbell probably deserves to be the All-Star rep for the Sabres - I'd say Jochen Hecht has been our best player but I know he doesn't stick out enough compared to the rest of the league - I think that a) he wouldn't have made the squad if there didn't have to be a rep from every team and b) he wouldn't have made the squad if there was more appreciation for what defensemen are primarily supposed to do which is, of course, play defense. How else do you explain Anton Volchenkov sitting at home? And yes, I am partly complaining about this because I know fans and some media are going to use the All-Star selection as ammo in the on-going "WE MUST SIGN CAMPBELL NOW!" arguments and that's ridiculous. Yes, it's very nice that he was selected by the players, I'm glad everyone knows who he is but that said, All-Star games mean nothing and don't belong in a discussion about how valuable a player is or isn't.

Why is Paul Hamilton the only guy who ever asks questions during postgame interviews with players? There are tons of people standing there with microphones, but Paul's the only one who ever talks. Is he pushy? Are other guys happy letting him handle that? What's the dealio?

And how badly did Paul Hamilton want Teppo Numminen to say he was angry with the Sabres and/or the Sabres' doctors in the most recent interview up on Sabres.com? Every question ended with, "Are you angry with the Sabres?" (Okay, it was two questions but still!)

And speaking of Teppo, while I know everyone is up in arms about the possibility of the Sabres mistreating yet another player, I think when you're talking about a guy's sternum healing, it's best to err on the side of caution. That's, you know... kind of serious. Geez.

In closing, I would just like to announce that I hate that frakkin' Reebook Edge pop-up ad on NHL.com. While trying to get the Sabres blog link for this post I inadvertently rolled over it atleast six times. I'm not buying your stupid jersey, Reebok. Leave me alone.


(For the curious, my new wallpaper.)