Ryan Miller Forever

Ryan Miller was never my favorite player. Some of that was just him not being the kind of player I'm generally drawn to. Too noticeable and too popular. But if I'm being honest, I didn't really particularly like Ryan when I first started watching the Sabres. His play was kind of streaky, he was so emotional and a little bit fragile, and sometimes a bit prickly. But every once in a while, if you're really lucky, you get to watch an athlete become something while wearing your team's jersey. I think that's half the fun of Josh Allen, and it's the thing I treasure most about Ryan Miller. 

At the end of the day, a fan base simply cannot ask an athlete to be more and do more than Ryan Miller was and did during his time in Buffalo. He was never anything less than thoughtful and honest in even the most run of the mill post-game interviews. Most players answer questions like "What was going on in your mind?" with cliche upon cliche, but Ryan would respond with what angles he was looking at and percentages and shooter tendencies and what his frame of mind was. He often seemed to be thinking through situations that happened on the ice out loud in real time, something that a lot of athletes can't do - I think it's just so natural to them that they genuinely can't explain it - and something most athletes just wouldn't risk doing. There were times that those honest, unfiltered think-alouds annoyed or upset fans, but it didn't stop Ryan from doing the same thing the next game. It's just who he was. He wore his heart right there on his sleeve every night. 

I was flipping through old blog entries last night, and I don't know if you remember this, but we were hard on Ryan. Here's a blog post I wrote, in entirety:

But here's what else I'd forgotten: Ryan absolutely dragged an underperforming team through the 2007 playoffs. Chris Drury and Daniel Briere will probably always get the most credit for those couple of years of success, but Ryan is *the* reason that team didn't go out embarrassingly early. He deserved to advance to the Finals with Ottawa while all the rest of the Sabres went home. There will always be people who complain that Ryan never led a Sabres team to a Cup, but the list of goalies that can single-handedly carry a team that far is pretty, pretty short if not non-existent. Ryan not being on a Cup winner doesn't take away from the fact that he took his play seriously, was always fiercely competitive, and seemed to be deeply disappointed in himself and his teammates when their play wasn't at the level needed to succeed. If he was occasionally still a little overly emotional over the years, it was because he cared a lot. 

And then, of course, there's just how deeply embedded Ryan was in Buffalo. He made his home here, the Steadfast Foundation did oodles of good work, the Catwalk for Charity was a local institution. He spoke glowingly about the city in a way that made it clear that he did actually know, understand, and love it. Professional athletes and their families are people with preferences and interests just like the rest of us, and it shouldn't be a surprise that athletes sometimes end up in a city that just doesn't fit them for whatever reason. But sometimes an athlete ends up in a city that's just right, the match like peanut butter and jelly. That's how Ryan always felt. Sometimes you can just feel that an athlete is especially happy to be wearing the jersey he's wearing. That was Ryan. He loved the Sabres organization, he loved his teammates, he loved the city, and he loved us. It's kind of a dumb thing to be happy about, right? At the end of the day, professional athletes are just normal people who are weirdly good at skills that aren't even particularly important in the grand scheme of things. It shouldn't really matter if they love us. But it does. It's one of those weird, illogical things about being a sports fan. 

I was so happy to hear that so many former Sabres were going to be at Ryan Miller's number retirement ceremony because, like a lot of people, I think about that period of time with a deep and genuine fondness. I grew up a sports fan, but I'd always been a fan from afar. The Pittsburgh Pirates, my number one team for most of my life, had a few good years in my youth, but I lived in Birmingham, Alabama, pre-MLB TV and sports streaming. I was completely removed from the atmosphere. That era of Sabres hockey was the first time I'd ever experienced what it was like to live in a city when a team was lighting it up, when you could have a conversation about last night's game or the next series or playoff chances with almost literally anyone around you, man, woman, or child. I'd been in Buffalo for five or six years at that point and while I wasn't unhappy here, it wasn't home yet. The Sabres made it home. Those Sabres brought so many wonderful people into my life. When I sit in the arena tonight, I'll be thinking of other bloggers and other fans, some still friends, some I've lost touch with, but all people I think about often and warmly. Shoot, I might even raise a glass to Bucky Gleason, wherever he may be. That was just such a magical time to be a Sabres fan in Buffalo, at least for me. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone there.

None of that happens without Ryan Miller. If you asked who my favorite players were from that era I'd name Hank, Toni, and Jochen, but I can look back and know that Ryan was the heart of that era. He was the connective tissue that held the good years together as long as possible. When other players chose to leave - and they all chose, one way or another - Ryan was the one who stayed. He's the one who really wanted to win a Cup while wearing a Sabres jersey. He wanted that for himself, and he wanted that for us. I believe that to my core. There's no other professional athlete that I'm more thankful I got to root for. What a gift it was to watch that fragile, emotional kid turn into a thoughtful, generous man who also turned out to be pretty darn good at playing goalie. He gave his best for us, in every possible way, every night year after year, and I can't wait to watch him fall apart while we cheer his number into the rafters. 

You're the best, Ryan. Thanks, buddy. 

Together Again

My commentary on Henrik Tallinder's return:

Moving Day!

Read the post below and then check out my new digs at topshelfblog.com.  That's where all new material will go from now on.  Come on, WHAT are you WAITING for?

Is That... Hope?

I'm not sure that a lot of questions about the Sabres were really answered Saturday night with their win against the Leafs, but I can now firmly answer something about myself:  I do not have it in me to cheer for a bad season.  It was probably silly how clearly excited the Sabres were about that win, but honestly, I was every bit as excited.  Part of it was Jochen Hecht finally scoring his first goal and doing it in dramatic fashion, part of it was Jhonas Enroth looking better than he did in his previous start, part of it was itty bitty Tyler Ennis' very pretty move in the shootout, and part of it was beating the Leafs which is always a joy.  But there's no doubt about it, I was really and truly excited.

I immediately started wondering if this was it, the game that was finally going to get everything turned around.  I thought, "Lindy is right!  Every team has bad streaks!  Our is just at the beginning of the season!  This team is not THAT bad!  It's all going to be okay!"

In other words, I'm a sucker.

I have settled a little bit from my "Should they or shouldn't they get better?" post however.  I don't know if Lindy Ruff and Darcy Regier are going to be here next season or not, but regardless of who's in charge, there will be a fairly large roster turnover.  Tim Connolly and Drew Stafford will not be back.  Craig Rivet won't be back.  I'd say Mike Grier is probably on the bubble of not being back.  I'm guessing Rob Niedermayer and Patrick Lalime won't be back.  Some of those guys might not make a huge difference but that does automatically mean at least some changes in the top six.  It also creates a fair amount of money and space, both something that the Sabres often lack.

Which is not to say that I want to toss off this season for next one.  I mean, jeez, how many seasons now have we said, "Well, NEXT year we'll have space/money/opportunity."  But it does make me wonder if management wasn't thinking that we'd make the playoffs this year and that they'd then really make some changes next year.  I'm not saying that was the right way to approach things especially with Connolly.  I'm just speculating.  But I am sure they did not expect things to be this bad right now.  It also makes me feel like we probably don't need to completely bottom out this season in order to see some improvement down the road.

I don't know.  I do know that when it comes to either wallowing in the despair of a long, losing season or grasping at any sign of hope, I'm a grasper.  So for now, right this second, I'm hoping.  I'm not hoping that we'll win the Stanley Cup - I'm a dreamer, I'm not insane - but hoping that the entire season isn't going to be like October?  That seems fairly reasonable.  I hate the idea of either just missing or just making the playoffs again, but I hate the idea of being way, way out of it early even more.  Sorry, people who want a number one pick.  I like to win hockey games.

Coming Up on Top Shelf

This doesn't have anything to do with the Sabres, but it does have to do with this blog and some upcoming changes so if you're at all interested, keep reading.

A few weeks back, I was asked if I would like to join up with Bloguin.  Bloguin is a network of blogs, mostly but not all sport- related.  I won't go into all the boring details, but I will say that I was pretty familiar with them and some of the blogs on their network.  (I'm a particularly devoted reader of Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke?)  It seemed like a good gig for me - a new banner, a more personalized blog, a solid network of people, and a chance at some revenue - so after talking it over with some people whom I trust, I decided to go for it.  Not a lot will change as far as you're concerned, but I did want to give you a heads-up about a few things.

-- The URL will be changing, probably as of Monday.  As far as I know, if you continue to come here, you will be re-directed to the new site, at least for a time.  If you have me on your blogroll or if you keep up with me through a reader, you might want to update that because once the new site goes live, new material will not be posted here.  I will put a note up here when I'm completely moved over there.

-- There will be ads.  The standard format used across Bloguin seems to be one ad at the very top of the page and a couple in the sidebar, one "above the fold."  I know that ads can be super annoying, but I don't think you'll really notice these.  I promise they're not the kind of ads that expand when you accidentally scroll over them (again and again) and they won't follow you around the screen until you acknowledge them.  They also won't play music or video.  They'll just sit there quietly, minding their own business.

Advertising is something I've thought about off and on over the years, and I've seriously talked to people about it a few times.  I've never taken the plunge though because it's just me here, and I felt a little out of my element trying to make decisions and negotiate prices.  At Bloguin, other people take care of arranging and placing the advertising, and I won't lie, the chance to make a little money doing this is one of the biggest reasons I jumped in.  I love writing Top Shelf, but it does take a lot of time out of my schedule.  A few extra nickels to rub together would be swell particularly now that I'm in school full-time and only working part-time.

-- At the top of the blog you'll see a Bloguin log-in box.  If you open a Bloguin account you're all set up to comment across the Bloguin network, however, you do NOT have to have a Bloguin account to comment here.  You can ignore that box completely and go on commenting as always if you so choose.  You will have to submit an email address when you comment, but it will NOT be published with your comment and the only person anywhere IN THE WHOLE WORLD who has access to the email addresses used at Top Shelf is me.  And I promise, I won't spam you.

-- For really long posts, I might start using a READ MORE cut.  I've been told that it looks cleaner to have a lot of short posts on the front page as far as advertisers are concerned, and let's be real, if you click on READ MORE, that's another page view which is how my cut of ad revenue is determined.  (So if you're ever really bored at work or in class, come load my blog over and over.)  I am personally not a fan of breaking up a post like that so I promise I'll only use cuts for longer posts and if I use one, there will be at least a couple of paragraphs behind the cut.  I hate when I click on READ MORE and there's only three more sentences.

I'm pretty excited about giving this a whirl, and really like I said, things are not going to change that much from your point-of-view.  I'm still the only one writing here, I have full control over what I write so the style isn't going to change at all.  If anything, things are going to be much prettier.  I think you'll like it.  I hope so.

Back to the Sabres in a day or so.

How Do You Solve a Problem Like the Sabres?

I just want to say that I have NO idea what is with the spacing issues lately. I know it looks terrible, but I really don't know how to fix it, and I'm going to be changing blogging platforms soon so I'm honestly not that concerned about figuring it out. Also, it's 2:11 in the morning. For now, just know that I realize it looks really ugly. I'm sorry. It won't be an issue much longer.

I’ve been pondering the Sabres and their current dilemma and here’s where I keep getting stuck: this is not an issue of talent, not entirely at least.  Don’t get me wrong, this team is not talented enough to win the Stanley Cup at least not without Ryan Miller playing completely out of his mind. But there is no way the Sabres are the least talented team in the NHL. I said before the season started that they should be a playoff team, and I'd still say that now. They should be a playoff team.  I could sit here and list all the things that the Sabres need to fix on the ice - the power play is awful (again), their defense is sloppy, they're not working hard enough - but I'm not sure any of that matters. The problem is clearly much, much deeper than what's on the ice.

I love the little girl on the glass, literally waving goodbye to all her Sabres-related hopes and dreams.

Which means I don't what the problem is. And that is VERY annoying Is it the attitude of certain players? Is it a total lack of leadership in the dressing room? Are the players rebelling against The System? Are they sick of listening to Lindy Ruff? Is Lindy Ruff sick of talking to them? Is upper management's emphasis on the bottom line trickling down and annoying the players? 

Maybe more accurately, I know what the problem is - these are not new problems really - but I don't know what the best fix is. I don't know because I'm not privy to that side of the team and that makes things really frustrating. I want to be able to say that putting Player X with Player Y or trying Player Z on the power play point will fix everything, and it's just not as simple as that.

I don't listen to WGR a whole lot, but I do follow Schopp on Twitter and a few days ago he tweeted, "Can the Sabres season be saved?" A few minutes later he changed it to, "SHOULD the Sabres season be saved?" In retrospect, I kind of wish I'd turned on the radio and listened to what he had to say because I think that's a really interesting question. Lindy said in his presser after the Boston game that he thinks he and the team will get through this bad period together. He said at his Greater Buffalo Sports Hall of Fame induction tonight that the Sabres will make the playoffs. But do we want that? Do we want another season of the Sabres making the playoffs and going out as soon as they run up against a team with more desire? (i.e. all of them) Or worse, another season where they finish just outside the playoffs but close enough that the team isn't unhappy with itself? Do we want any more reason for management to think, "Maybe these guys will be okay," when they so clearly aren't? Or to say "Obviously Lindy isn't the problem" when love him or not, he probably is at least part of the problem?

Should the Sabres season be saved? I don't really have a good answer for that question either. As a fan, of course I would prefer that the Sabres make the playoffs. The playoffs are fun and yes, the irrational fan in me says and, more importantly, believes that anything can happen once the playoffs start. But maybe it is best to burn it down and start from scratch. Maybe the only thing that will get management's attention is a complete and total, inarguable failure of a season. If we could just magically jump from right now to the end of the season, I'd be fine with no playoffs, last place, and a lottery pick in the draft. But do I really want to watch and blog about six more months like this last one? No freaking way. I've also seen firsthand, in other parts of my sports fandom, how it's sometimes not that easy to rebuild a team that's been completely blown up, particularly when there are question marks about how serious management is about making changes and how effective the people in charge of making those changes will be. Maybe it's better to put up with another season of squeaking in and going out.

I don't know. I don't know anything. What do you know? What do you think? What do you want?

Are We SURE Baseball is Over?

Whoa.  So remember how I said yesterday that Tim Connolly shouldn't really be that high on the list of Players to be Executed?  Yeah.  Timmy might want to not leave the house for a few weeks.  

A scheduling conflict spared me from most of the first period, but based on the opinions of my husband and the raging on Twitter, I could tell it was a bad one.  And even with that preparation, I was shocked when I watched the first period highlights.  The Sabres looked like they had literally never played hockey before the puck dropped tonight.  I've run power plays in P.E. with a bunch of emotionally disturbed second graders that were more effective than anything the Sabres put together tonight.  I found myself wishing there was a Pittsburgh Pirates game on tonight and that is just not a good place to be.  Just gross, gross, gross.

I don't even know what to say about what should happen to who.  I'm going to have to process this.  Probably everyone should be fired including Sabretooth and the person who picks the music played at HSBC.  

I mean... gross.

Expectations and Frustrations

I've been thinking a lot about Tim Connolly.  It seems like I'm reading more and more frantic "I WANT THAT GUY OFF MY TEAM RIGHT NOW!" comments this season, and while I do kind of get it, I kind of don't get it too.  I know the buzz phrases right now are things like PASSION and FIRE and Connolly certainly comes up short in those areas.  He always has.  I would not be the least bit hesitant to throw him in the pile of players who haven't lived up to their talent although some of that, in fairness, has been due to the ridiculous string of injuries during what probably should have been the prime of his career.  But as far as the team we're watching right now, in the last 12 games, I don't know, it seems to me Connolly is fairly low down on the list of problems.  He's on pace for 27(.3) goals which isn't terrible.  I don't want him to re-sign in Buffalo but I don't want him dropped into a fiery pit tomorrow either.  While this team is really low in intangibles like leadership and desire, it's also low on production.  I'm not sure Connolly should be quite so high on the list of players to be executed at dawn.

In fact, as frustrating as Connolly, Vanek, and Roy can be, they're more or less being Connolly, Vanek, and Roy right now.  As much as we want to talk about all the missing intangibles - and again, I think that is a completely valid discussion - I also think this team is probably fine if Ryan Miller and Tyler Myers are just playing better even a little better than have so far.  (For the record, I'm defining "fine" as "in a playoff spot rather than the basement" not as "Stanley Cup contender!")  I don't think it's any secret that the current team is constructed in a way that relies extremely heavily on those two guys.

We could probably argue about whether that's fair or not.  I think it's more fair to Ryan who I'm definitely frustrated with right now.  Honestly, I'm probably more frustrated with him than anyone else.  He should certainly be entitled to an off night here and there and his teammates should be able to pick him up on those nights.  But a Vezina-winning, franchise goalie should also be held to pretty high standards and he has not met those standards at all.  Yes, he's been hung out to dry at times.  He hasn't saved this team yet this season though and he's played a lot of average games with a couple of bad ones thrown in.  Our once awesome penalty kill - currently 27th which makes me want to weep - really misses Henrik Tallinder and Toni Lydman (and this is where I say, "I told you so") but it also misses the Ryan Miller of last season.  If I'm panicking about anything at this point, it's Ryan.  Despite everything I know about how Ryan has gotten better every season and how goalies often mature into their 30s, I secretly worry that last season was Ryan's career year, the one that'll make us look back and think, "Damn, if only we'd had a slightly better team that season."

The expectations are a little more unfair to Tyler Myers.  This time last season, I think even Sabres management was considering him a very pleasant surprise.  Coming into this season he was suddenly the cornerstone of the defensive corp and a future all-time great Sabre which seemed a little excessive.  Ryan's been around long enough that he should be able to carry a lot of weight on his shoulders.  He was brought along much more slowly by the Sabres, and I think that worked to his advantage.  Myers is, at the end of the day, still just a 20-year-old kid in his second year in the NHL.  That's tough.  I definitely wonder if some of his struggles, especially on the mental side, are being caused by the weight of expectation.

(And not having Hank around.  I feel you there, kid.)

How about you?  Who are you the most frustrated by or annoyed with right now?

Captain, Captain, Who's Got the Captain?

Some of you out there may have heard of National Novel Writing Month, known in short-hand as NaNoWriMo.  The goal is to write at least 50,000 words of a novel during the month of November.  I, however, do not write novels.  I write this here blog.  Which is why I'll be participating in NaBloWriMo instead.  Every day for the entire month, I'll write something here.  That's right!  For the next thirty days, my thoughts on the Buffalo Sabres will be at your fingertips seven days a week.  Sometimes the posts may be long and in-depth, sometimes they might be a few short sentences.  But they will be here.

Now that I've gotten the emotional aspect of the scratching of Craig Rivet out of the way, I figured I'd give you my opinion about who should wear the "C" from here on out: Craig Rivet.

I've gone up and down the line-up, I've carefully studied The Goose's Roost's Power Rankings, and I just don't see that there are any good alternatives right now.  I think Derek Roy has it in him, but I need to see him  act like a grown-up for a while longer.  (For what it's worth, if you'd asked me in 2006 who the eventual captain would be, I would have said Roy.)  Mike Grier isn't playing as well on the ice.  Jochen Hecht seems to be well-liked but also seems very subdued and mild-mannered.  I don't want Thomas Vanek anywhere near a letter for a myriad of reasons, the biggest being that I think focusing on his own game is enough for his poor little psyche.  And all the babies are too far away to carry that weight right now.  Maybe some day but not yet.

My only reluctance in keeping the captaincy with Rivet is that I don't think his play is really going to improve.  He's not a 30-year-old Henrik Tallinder who was scratched because he needed to play harder and focus more.  I don't have any complaints about Rivet's work ethic or desire.  I don't think that's his problem.  I think his problem is that he went and got old, and once a professional athlete starts to get old, I'm not sure you can correct that.  I don't see him suddenly becoming one of the six best d-men on the team (though I wouldn't be opposed to Myers sitting for a night or two and getting his head straight).  So if the goal is to find a captain who's both mature, fit to lead, and really good at hockey, well, I'm not sure that guy is on the roster right now.  Kind of a sad state of affairs

Sometimes Getting Your Way Kinda Sucks

I've been saying since about halfway through last season that Craig Rivet needed to be scratched from the line-up.  I'd never been super high on him, but he was looking particularly old and slow, just completely out of sorts.  Eventually it came out that he'd been trying to play through a shoulder injury that probably should have been surgically repaired months earlier, and everyone thought he'd come back at 100% this season.  I wasn't convinced and I admit, I've taken a little delight in being right.  I wanted him to be scratched so badly.  


And then Lindy Ruff actually did scratch Rivet.  He kind of put himself in the position where he had to.  He couldn't go on and on about playing the best players and ignore the elephant in the room with 52 on his back.  And I think Lindy is pretty desperate to find something that will wake someone up.  But I was pretty surprised.  Every time I've ever publicly rallied for Rivet to be benched, someone has come along and told me the story about how Lindy was scratched while wearing the C for the Sabres and how much that wounded his pride and ended his career in Buffalo.  And I got that.  As much as fans, me included, insist that management set aside feelings and do the right thing for the team, I understand that everyone carries the weight of their own experiences with them and those experiences affect us and how we deal with others.  I know a lot of people will insist that Lindy shouldn't get any credit for finally doing something that should have been done a long time ago, something any good coach would do, but I disagree.  I give Lindy a lot of credit for making this move because it does hit so close to home for him. I think it's obvious from his comments - "No player understands. He won’t understand" - that this was a tough one for him.  


And then I watched this interview with Rivet.  (If you haven't seen it, I'd encourage you to take a few minutes to check it out.)  I'm not going to lie, I was completely fascinated by this interview.  I've gotten so used to seeing professional athletes give plastic interviews where they break out all the familiar catchphrases: we're not getting the breaks, we're not playing within the system, we're trying to do too much, we just need to keep working hard and putting pucks on the net.  This interview was not like that at all.  Rivet doesn't break down in tears or punch Kevin Sylvester in the mouth (alas) or anything like that.  He's completely in control of his emotions.  And yet, he's not in control of his emotions at all.  He's clearly feeling a myriad of things: anger, disappointment, frustration, guilt, pride.  I think in that interview, you really see a guy who knows he's watching the end of his career come up fast and also seeing the possibility that it might not end on his own terms.  


There's a really wonderful book called "The Boys of Summer" by Roger Kahn. (I promise this is going somewhere so please hang with me.)  At a very young age, early 20's, I believe, Kahn suddenly found himself working as a beat writer for the New York Herald Tribune.  His assignment was to follow the Brooklyn Dodgers, the team he grew up rooting for and still unashamedly loved.  The first part of the book follows those years spent covering the Dodgers, the seasons that end in heart-breaking losses to the Yankees and the season, 1955, where they finally become Word Series Champions.  The second part of the book is Kahn visiting various members of the Dodgers in the late 60's and early 70's, catching up with them and seeing where life took them after their playing careers were over.  


I was, I don't know, maybe 11 or 12 when I first read "The Boys of Summer."  I adored the first part of the book.  I ate up all the descriptions of Ebbets Field, the stories about Jackie Robinson, the travails of the loyal fans who almost always watched their team come up just short.  I loved the stories about traveling with the team, and the hustle and bustle of an old-school newsroom, the reporters calling in scores and guys in the office fishing the correct numbers out of a pile and placing them carefully on the press.  I think "The Boys of Summer" is probably responsible for instilling the dream to be a sportswriter, a dream I carried through my freshman year of college before finally abandoning it.  I know it was responsible for my childhood crush on Pee-Wee Reese and for me probably being the only person in my age group to send him fan mail.  I didn't really care for the second part of the book, however.  I mean, jeez, who cared about a bunch of old geezers, you know?  


I re-read "The Boys of Summer" a couple of years ago, and this time the second part was much more interesting because I realized that those old geezers weren't really that old at all.  Most of them were in their mid-to-early forties.  Some of them had started new lives that were happy and successful and some of them had struggled more with leaving their playing careers behind, but it made me think a lot about what it would be like to suddenly have to start all over at such a young age.  It's not that they decided, "Hey, I think I'll start a new career."  They had to.  No one wanted them to play baseball anymore.  The thing they had dreamed of, the one thing they'd wanted to do with their lives was over.  As often as I've sarcastically said, "Oh, yeah I'd love to get paid all that money to play a freaking game," I know these guys have given up a lot to get where they are.  Hockey players especially start at such a young age, too young probably.  They leave home, they sacrifice family, friendships, schooling, and let's be honest, childhood. And then at 35, they're done.  They're starting over at an age where most of us are really getting into a groove.  


I don't mean to be overly dramatic.  Craig Rivet has made enough money over the course of his career that he should be just fine financially.  He has the means to pursue whatever he wants to pursue.  He also has the means to not pursue anything and spend a few years at home watching his kids grow up if that's what he prefers.  That's a privilege that very, very few people can choose.  The Sabres organization alone is full of guys who have found careers in hockey after their playing days were over: Lindy Ruff, James Patrick, Rob Ray, Mike Robitaille, Jim Lorentz just to name a few.  But still.  He's 36.  Emotionally, that's a huge change to make at such a young age.  How weird must it be to be just about done and still have so much of life in front of you?  How weird must it be to realize that your skill set is completely useless in the real world?  How weird is it to know that you're living a dream and that the dream is almost over and that it really wasn't that long?  In ten years, when you're only 45, 50, it'll be far enough away that it might feel like it really was a dream.  And how weird is it that the people around you are ultimately the ones who decide whether you can continue or not?  That as much as you may want to go on, they have the power to decide it's over?  I wonder, do professional athletes face retirement with the secret fear that the best years of their lives are behind them, that nothing that comes after will top what they've already experienced?


I'm rambling now, I know, and honestly, I'm not sure what I'm really trying to say.  I was just genuinely taken aback at how much that Rivet interview affected me.  It was one of those rare moments where I saw the facade of professional athlete slip and got a good, long look at the human being behind the jersey, a human being living a life and grappling with a thousand conflicting emotions and big, potentially life-changing moments, just like we do.  


I'm glad Rivet was scratched, but I'm also glad I'm not the one who had to sit down and break the news to him.  I'm glad I got what I wanted, but I'm really sad about it too.  I wish that it had ended a different way.  I hope it still does.  I guess I'm just a softie.

Steve Montador Makes Me Happy

The Sabres are not very good at hockey lately and there are a million things we could probably debate. Should Lindy Ruff be fired? Should Darcy Regier be run out of town? Should Tim Connolly be executed at center ice? Should Craig Rivet be benched? Should someone be traded? Why in the world is it so hard to get the sound on the HD broadcast to work correctly? But you know what? I said I was going to have fun this season and gosh darn it, I'm going to do it. And firing Lindy and executing players is not fun, not really. Instead of tackling any of the above, I'm going to write about something that makes me happy. Here it is:

Hi, Steve!

First there's the obvious: Steve Montador, unlike many of his teammates, has been pretty excellent at playing hockey so far this season.  Our defense is currently running amok and he's been one of the few steady Freddys.  He's never going to win any awards, he's never going to draw a lot of attention to himself, but for the most part, he goes out and does his job well.  That's my kind of defenseman right there.

But here's the thing that really makes me happy: Steve Montador is wearing a visor even though he doesn't really have to anymore.  There are a few things I don't understand about hockey players: I don't understand why they sometimes put elbows or shoulders into another player's head or back.  I don't understand why they wear their helmets so loose that they pop off if someone looks at them funny.  I don't understand why someone with a concussion history TIMCONNOLLY wouldn't wear a mouthguard even though research has shown that good ones can offer serious protection.  And I don't understand why any hockey player in the NHL would refuse to wear a visor.  Hello, have you seen how hard those guys can shoot a puck?  One player losing or severely damaging an eye would be enough for me.  Perhaps I'm not macho enough for hockey, but I feel like this is one area where macho kind of bumps into stupidity.  (As it often does really.)

We'll have to see if it sticks - I remember a few years ago when Paul Gaustad took a puck to the eye and wore a visor for a total of seventeen or so minutes - but hearing a guy say, "Hey, it turns out that protecting my oddly handsome face isn't so uncomfortable after all!" is music to the ears of this soft-hearted hockey fan.  So thank you, Steve Montador for giving me something to feel good about.

That's Like, Totally Awesome

If this doesn't pump you up for tonight's game, I don't know what will because you have no soul.